Sudden Acceleration

I am informed that the number of reported Sudden Acceleration
incidences has spiked dramatically. The ostensible reason given
is the placebo effect. Everyone now believes that Sudden Acceleration
is contagious, when in fact it is known to exist in a specific set
of cars. And yet, there was the nagging feeling that--what with the
earthquakes and all--we are, once again, under attack by aliens
through sophisticated means of irregulating our corner of the celestial
sphere. If I experienced sudden acceleration, then it would be proven
true. Our world has come under attack by aliens who are causing all
the shifts and phenomena that can be traced either to the core of
the earth, or the psyche of the human. I hate to say it, but it
must be true. We are under attack....