The President-Elect of the United Federation of Sovereign States, America

"Mr President"
"What is your duty?"
"I am on my way to meet the head of your army. he has staged a coup"
"I am cleaning a toilet"
"It is admirable. but where doth nero fiddle as rome burns?"
"the arc of the sun. it rises in the east and sets in the west"
"the sun is further south, sir"
"tell me, where am I frum"
"kentucky sir," I divined, "your ancestors are from kentucky"...